A Plague on Both Your Houses
by CrystallineArtist
Summary: After planning out an entire movie night for the Akatsuki Deidara falls asleep on his favorite play and finds himself and his enemies acting it out. But somethings up. This isn't the story that he remembers. This isn't the way that things are meant to be.
1. The Very Beginning

Deidara smiled in contentment and excitement as he bustled around the kitchen making snacks for the Akatsuki's movie night. It was his turn to pick the movie and he had picked one of the most classic movies of all time. With a giggle he began to shift all the snacks to the living room, using his birds to fly the small things to where he wanted them in the living room so that he wouldn't have to make as many trips.

He looked over his work and sighed in happiness when he saw that everything was perfect, or as near perfect as he was willing to make it considering the fact that it would be wrecked in less than ten seconds. He was ready to call the others in. Throwing off his apron and running to the leader's office, a slight skip that was unbecoming of a criminal in his step. He gave a polite knock to the office door and then went inside, a small smile still plastered on his face. Konan and Pein both looked up at him with questioning eyes.

"Movie night yeah! It was my turn to pick and I already set everything up so if you could please go to the living room that would be great. We'll be starting in just under ten minutes when the sun sets un. Thank you and see you there." Was the quickly blurted out explanation he gave.

He dropped a quick bow and then ran out of the room screaming his Danna's name the whole way.

"Shut up brat I'm right here. What are you screaming about?" Deidara nearly screamed his head off when Sasori poped up behind him.

"Oh my god Danna don't do that un! It's movie night! And it was my turn so yeah go to the living room, everything's already set up."

"Hn, I'll pass." Sasori turned around and started to stalk back to his room. Deidara looked around and sighed when he saw that all the other members had heard him. If he left one person out of his movie night then they would all start wanting out and that just wouldn't do. With a huff he pulled out a clay sparrow and sent it to perch on Sasori's shoulder.

"Danna if you don't come then I'll blow off your shoulder and I'll use every bird I have in my room at the moment to blow up Hiruko un. In the end you have to start over from scratch because he'll be totally destroyed. Is that what you want Danna un?"

Sasori turned around and threw Deidara against the wall, hand clutching his throat like a drowning man holding onto an air hose. "You go near my favorite puppet with those freak pieces of clay of yours and I'll kill you so slowly that by the end you'll have gone insane several times. Do I make myself clear?"

Deidara let his head drop to the side, voice coming out in a raspy whisper he said, "All you have to do is come watch the movie and your puppet will be fine yeah."

Sasori brought his hand up to punch Deidara and was a millisecond from hitting him when Pein intervened. "Sasori you're watching the movie whether you want to or not. Now move your ass, the longer you take the longer this overall process will take."

Sasori continued to glare at Deidara for a second, hating the smirk that he saw on his face before releasing him and walking into the living room. With an exaggerated breath he sat down on the couch next to Hidan who was shaking with unreleased laughter.

"Sasori you're fucking whipped!" He shouted before dissolving into all out laughter.

Sasori grabbed the nearest object to him and bashed Hidan over the head with it. "No more than you are now shut up."

Tobi butted in before their fight could evolve and wreck his senpai's plans. From his position on the floor he turned to look up at Deidara. "What movie are we watching Senpai?"

Deidara smiled down at Tobi. "A very classic love story. ROMEO AND JUILET!" He shouted with a ton of glee.

A good deal of the organization breathed out sighs of horror when Deidara said the name of the movie. They all instantly shut up when faced with Konan's glare. "It's an excellent story and you will watch it without complaint! You could all use a bit of romance and some positive emotions other than sadistic glee."

Pein turned to the rest of his group. "Do what she says or she'll force us to act it out. And she's a very strict critic."

Kisame turned towards Pein with a quizzical stare. "How do you know that?"

Pein shuddered as he answered. "Konan's in love with plays, especially Shakespeare. When we were younger someone made the mistake of mocking Taming of the Shrew around her and she beat the shit out of him and then made him act it out as Katharine with a bunch of his friends. She cut them once every time they messed up. Att he end of their performance they were bloody messes."

Kisame stared at Konan, who was acting like nothing was being said about her, wide eyed while the rest of the guys nodded and fell silent as Deidara slid the DVD into the DVD player. The lights dimmed as the opening credits rolled. Deidara yawned and shook himself as he felt his eyes slipping closed; he wouldn't fall asleep on one of his favorite movies!

But try as he might he couldn't fight his body. Before long he was sliding into a deep sleep, his head flopping onto Itachi's shoulder while the prologue was read out, the hypnotic voice lulling him into a deep sleep.

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><p>Two households, both alike in dignity,<p>

In fair Iwagakure, where we lay our scene,

From ancient war break to new mutiny,

Where civil blood makes civil hands unclean.

From forth the fatal loins of these two foes

A pair of star-crossed lovers take their life;

Whole misadventured piteous overthrows

Do with their death bury their parents' strife.

The fearful passage of their death-marked love,

And the continuance of their parents' rage,

Which, but their children's end, naught could remove,

Is now the two hours' traffic of our stage;

The which if you with patient ears attend,

What here shall miss, our toil shall strive to mend.

* * *

><p><strong>-x-<strong>

* * *

><p><strong>Author's Note: <strong>I'm going to give this story another try because as much as I do love writing my other two stories I need something that's a tad bit easier if you will. I'll give you guys a character list if you ask but at the moment I don't actually think It's warranted. I have some issues with the original Romeo and Juliet so while I recognize it's a classic this will not follow the original emotions and even plot that the play does. It could stand to be better at times honestly. You have been warned.


	2. Our Cast of Characters

So for the sake of organization I decided to give you guys a character list. IF you never use it I'll never no but it shall help me immensely. I don't want to give everything away though so therefore this will only be updated as each character comes up or enough of you guess correctly as someone did this time around. At the moment it's all the characters set to appear in the next chapter, I'll list who they are after the chapter is posted. Sorry for the teaser but I just couldn't resist.

* * *

><p><em>Deidara<em>

_Choji_

_Kiba_

_Kakuzu_

_Sasori_

_Konan_

_Tobi_

_Garra_

_Naruto_

_Konan_

_Itachi_

_Pein_


End file.
